Things I Stopped Doing as a Working Mom

One thing I didn’t expect about becoming a working mom was realizing that eventually you hit a limit on optimization.

For a while I thought the answer was getting better at managing everything. Better systems. Better routines. Better planning. If I could just get efficient enough, maybe I could keep doing everything I used to do before kids and still feel on top of life. Eventually I had to admit something: before kids I just had more uninterrupted time.

Back then, you could finish work and still have energy to decide what was for dinner, stop at the store, clean up afterward, fold laundry, watch TV, and somehow end the night feeling caught up. Now I feel like I’ve already lived a full day before I open my laptop in the morning.

At some point I stopped asking, “How do I fit more in?” and started asking, “What actually matters enough to keep doing?” That shift changed a lot.

Folding kid clothes

I still do laundry. In fact, I do laundry several times a week. I put things away, but I stopped treating my kids’ drawers like they needed to look like a boutique display.

For a while I folded everything perfectly and organized categories and tried to maintain this beautiful little system. Then my kids would get dressed, reject two shirts, leave pajama pants on the floor, and somehow a sock would disappear forever.

Now I sort clothes, roll them not very neatly into their drawer organizers and close the drawer. They know where things are. I know where things are.

In person shopping to save money

This one was harder to let go of than I expected because I genuinely enjoy getting a good deal and picking my own watermelon. At some point I realized I was spending time like it was free. Driving to the store, loading kids in and out, walking aisles, waiting in lines all to save an amount of money that probably wasn’t worth the total effort. It sounds responsible in theory, but in practice it often turned a one-hour errand into half a day.

These days I care more about total cost than sticker price. Grocery pickup costs a little more? Fine. Ordering household basics instead of remembering to buy them? Also fine. I now only go to stores with a specific mission like my son wants to purchase something with his piggy bank money.

Meal prepping the way the internet does meal prep

I spent years thinking I should become one of those people who spends Sunday filling rows of matching containers. I’ve accepted that’s not me. My version of meal prep is deciding what we’re eating that week, adding everything to grocery pickup, baking something for breakfast that I can freeze and easily defrost during the workday, and making sure future me isn’t opening the fridge on Wednesday wondering what happened. I don’t need lunches assembled five days ahead to feel organized. I just need enough structure that dinner doesn’t become a daily emergency.

Keeping every surface perfectly clear

I love a clean house. I still do, but I operate more in a tidiness mindset. Items have a place and I don't want to be looking at them at the end of the day. My kids put their toys away before any screen time/heading up for bedtime. Does that mean some toys are visible? Yes, but I've accepted my house is going to look lived in.

Feeling guilty about screens

I had this picture in my head before becoming a parent that screens would be occasional and educational and carefully managed. If you are a screen free household, props to you. Sometimes dinner needs to happen. Sometimes work spills over. Sometimes somebody is sick or plans fall apart or I just need twenty quiet minutes to reset. The biggest shift for me wasn’t using screens more. It was letting go of the idea that using them automatically meant I was failing at something.

Solving every problem immediately

This one changed the most. I used to respond immediately to every request, every complaint, every inconvenience. Someone spilled something? I jumped in. Someone was frustrated? I solved it. Now I pause. I’ve realized not every moment needs intervention. Kids are capable of more than I give them credit for, and sometimes things work themselves out if I don’t rush in within three seconds.